I want to leave this funeral but I will never be able to. For the rest of life, I will be living this funeral over and over again. The first few times it was real nice but after that it got to be really sad and then even more sad. I am really happy with the way that the cremations Perth crew did it all and everyone was crying at the funeral which is a really good sign I think. I also think that it was one of the saddest moments in my life, which is kind of ironic because it was not actually in my life. I was in the life-next, and I still am, waiting to pass through the Anzahl Tor. I am tormented to relive that which happens on this life-current forever, and ever, while being able to do nothing about it. I don’t think that I’ll be able to live with this, but then again, I must. Might be able to take solace in the little things that I find within this moment, such as the way that the funerals Perth crew are standing, or the way that Helen looks when she gives her speech. She was so beautiful. I’m caught in a never ending black hole. All those who could see me see nothing but a ghost, forced to freeze, breathing through eternity. It was not the hardest thing to do and I think that the hardest thing for me to do will be to leave this place. I have no doubt that I will be here for a long time. I will be here for so long that I will forget all else. I will go mad with repetition. I will know nothing other than that which is shown to me. I will be able to see nothing but the funeral services Perth is providing me and then it will stop. That will be my destruction, when they cease showing me life.